Have you ever felt like different parts of you want different things? Like there’s a part of you that wants to move forward with something, but another part feels stuck or afraid? This internal conflict can often feel overwhelming. That’s where Internal Family Systems (IFS) comes in—it has helped me understand and heal these parts, leading to more balance and self-compassion in my life.
What Is IFS?
IFS is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as being made up of distinct “parts,” each with its own emotions, thoughts, and needs. These parts can sometimes conflict with one another, and IFS helps to bring harmony to them by working with the core Self—the calm, compassionate essence of who we are. This empowers us to manage internal struggles and heal past wounds.
If you’ve ever felt torn between conflicting desires or emotions, IFS can give you the tools to understand these parts of yourself, providing a roadmap toward emotional healing. Here are five life-changing takeaways I’ve learned through my own IFS journey.
1. I Understand My Inner World Better
IFS helped me recognise that those inner voices—whether they are critical, fearful, or anxious—are not "bad" but parts of me trying to protect or help in some way. By giving these parts attention, I have learned to navigate difficult emotions with more compassion and understanding.
2. I Gained Greater Emotional Balance
Before IFS, certain emotions felt like they would take over, especially when I was stressed. Now, instead of being overwhelmed, I can step back, connect with my Self, and create space to respond rather than react. This has allowed me to better attune to my emotional well-being.
3. I Healed Old Wounds
By identifying parts of me that were caught up in extreme beliefs or painful experiences from the past, I have been able to directly address unresolved trauma. IFS goes deep and it has allowed me to heal in ways that I didn’t know I needed, but the work helped me understand how different parts of me were shaped by those events.
4. I Became Kinder to Myself
Self-compassion used to feel more like a distant concept rather than something I truly experienced. However, through the IFS model—undoubtedly the most self-compassionate framework I've encountered—I learned that all parts of myself, even those that appear negative or harmful, are simply trying to help in their own unique ways. This realisation has transformed my relationship with myself, allowing me to cultivate a more compassionate and supportive inner dialogue.
5. I Found a Path to Lasting Change
Rather than temporary relief from difficult states or emotions, IFS offers lasting transformation. By integrating the parts of me that were once hurt in one way or another, I’ve seen a long-term improvement in how I approach challenges, relationships, and personal growth.
The insights I’ve gained from IFS have helped me reconnect with who I truly am, rather than trying to change myself. This journey of getting to know myself better has been super empowering and has let me enjoy life more fully. IFS is such a great tool for anyone looking to increase their self-awareness, heal from past experiences, and find some balance in their lives.The insights I’ve gained from IFS haven’t changed who I am—they’ve helped me realign with my true Self. This process of self-discovery has been deeply empowering and allowed me to live more fully. IFS is a powerful tool for anyone looking to cultivate greater self-awareness, healing, and find a better balance in life.
Learn more about Trine’s journey with IFS here: